• Tonya

Lose you to love me?

Not sure what to write in this blog. I had heard this song but suddenly when I was listening to it the other night it really hit me. Haven't we all been in a relationship that we can relate to this song? I don't know if it's having gone through so much in my life. Name it, it's probably happened to me but I have pulled through and kept smiling but some days, I just can't, some days it's all too much and the dam bursts. The pressure of the build up was just too much. I ignore a lot and let things roll off my back but then the straw breaks the camels back and I have to pause and feel the feelings instead of pushing them aside. Sometimes I wonder why I am always the one to put everything aside for others and I give and give but it's never enough. I have made sacrifices for other peoples dreams and it's never realized but I leave one dirty pan in the sink because I'm running 3 kids out the door and the passive aggression is fast and furious. It's easy to get knocked down when you don't feel like you have even had a chance to get back up from beating cancer. I kind of wonder if you ever really beat it, you get through it but then you have something happen and then your back there going through tests again. Hoping for good news but preparing for the possibility of bad news again.

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